Most of us feel an overwhelming sense of love for our unborn child from the moment we discover we are pregnant. We imagine their appearance, their gender, and even choose names for them. As the days pass, our love for them deepens. We constantly think about them and develop a profound connection. So, when a miscarriage occurs, it can be devastating. We grieve deeply because we loved this little person, even though we never had the chance to meet them.
With deep love comes profound grief. Our hearts shatter because the person we loved is gone. The joyous day we anticipated, where we would hold them in our arms and cherish their birth, is lost. Understanding such a loss can be challenging.
When I experienced a miscarriage at six weeks of pregnancy, I felt hurt and angry. I desired the baby so intensely and couldn’t comprehend why God allowed the miscarriage. It seemed unjust. However, looking back, I realize that at that time, I was spiritually immature and reacted with a tantrum similar to that of a spoiled child in a grocery store. I didn’t speak to God for a couple of weeks.
More recently, my daughter-in-law went into labor at 21 weeks and gave birth prematurely to our beloved granddaughter, Nora. She lived for nearly two hours but couldn’t survive at that stage. The grief we felt was overwhelming because we were deeply in love with her. We had seen her smile and wave in an ultrasound photo just a couple of weeks earlier. She was absolutely precious.
We had the opportunity to hold Nora before she passed away. It was a heart-wrenching experience to hold her knowing that she wouldn’t survive. She was perfectly healthy, but simply born too soon.
The question arises: why would God give and then take away?
Perhaps we may never know the answer until we reach Heaven. However, while we are in this fallen world, experiencing loss, including the loss of our precious little ones, is a sad reality.
“Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. For he does not willingly bring grief or affliction to anyone.” – Lamentations 3:32-33
Knowing what to say to someone who has just experienced the loss of a baby can be difficult. Here are a few suggestions from those who have gone through pregnancy or infant loss, along with a comforting prayer for miscarriage for all those affected.
Table of Contents
What to Say to Someone Who Has Experienced a Miscarriage
Expressing sympathy with simple words is often best. Consider saying:
- “This is terrible and I’m deeply sorry.”
- “I’m sorry for what you’re going through.”
- “I know this hurts. I’m praying for you.”
- “Please know that I’m here if you need to talk.”
What Not to Say to Someone Who Has Experienced a Miscarriage
Attempting to explain or assign reason to the situation is not helpful. Someone in deep grief doesn’t want to hear explanations, unless they are from their doctor regarding the reasons for the loss. What they need is the assurance that others care about their pain, not an explanation of why it happened.
Try to avoid saying the following phrases:
- “Everything happens for a reason.”
- “God won’t give you more than you can handle.”
- “You’re still young. There’s plenty of time to have children.”
- “I can’t imagine what you’re going through.”
- “God knows what He’s doing.”
- “There was probably something wrong with the baby, or it was probably for the best.”
Remember, actions can speak louder than words. Some meaningful actions you can take include:
- Making an effort to attend the funeral, if there is one.
- Being available in any way you can. This can be incredibly impactful for the grieving parent.
- Allowing the parent to share their story if they are comfortable doing so, and giving them the space and time they need.
- Using the provided prayer for miscarriage as a guide to empathize and support the hurting family.
Comforting Bible Verses for Miscarriages
- “As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things.” – Ecclesiastes 11:5
- “And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:19
- “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.” – Psalm 46:1-3
- “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” – Jeremiah 1:5
- “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” – Psalm 139:13-16
- “Jesus said, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.'” – Matthew 19:14
Prayer for Miscarriage: A Prayer for the Parents
Heavenly Father,
Thank you for the parents of this precious baby. Heal their broken hearts and strengthen their faith through this storm. Help them find comfort not only in Your word but also in the words of friends or family who have experienced the same pain. Draw them closer to You through this tragedy and reveal Yourself to them in their time of need.
In the powerful name of Jesus, Amen.
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33
Prayer for Miscarriage: A Prayer for the Family
Heavenly Father,
Thank you for being with us during this devastating time. Our hearts are crushed, and we don’t understand why we have lost this child. Nevertheless, we trust You to guide us through this hardship.
In the mighty and powerful name of Jesus, Amen.
“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:18
Prayer for Miscarriage: A Prayer for the Baby
Heavenly Father,
Thank you for this precious little one. Although our hopes for this child’s life were not realized, we know You are in control of everything. Your thoughts are not our thoughts, and Your ways are not our ways. It’s difficult for us to understand, but we take solace in knowing that our sweet baby is with You in Heaven. We look forward to the day when we can meet her face to face and hold her in our arms, giving her the love we have yearned to give.
In the name of Jesus, Amen.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” – Isaiah 55:8-9
Remember that you are not alone. Lean on your faith, and allow yourself to grieve. You will find strength and comfort in God’s love, as well as in the support of those around you. If you ever need encouragement or guidance, don’t hesitate to reach out to the 5 WS platform.
Note: The original article contains unrelated content, contact information, and external links. These have been omitted to maintain brand focus and credibility.
