Editor’s Note: You probably remember Anthony D’Ambrosio of Wall, who gained a massive following after some of his viral relationship columns sparked extreme reactions from readers. And now, he’s back with more. Stay tuned to APP.com for his thoughts on love, relationships, romance, marriage, dating, and more.
In the meantime, let’s revisit his column on why marriages just don’t seem to work for people of our generation. Anthony, a 30-something who got married in 2012 and is now divorced, provides some valuable insights into this perplexing issue. But before we dive in, let me ask you this: have you ever wondered why marriages today seem to be failing left and right? It’s a straightforward concept, really – fall in love and share your life with someone. Our great grandparents did it, our grandparents followed suit, and many of our parents did it too. So why the hell can’t we?
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The Struggles of Our Generation
Anthony D’Ambrosio acknowledges that he’s not the only one who has failed at marriage. There are many others who endure miserable relationships but still choose to stay in them, leading completely phony lives. And oddly enough, some of these same people are quick to pass judgment on those who speak up about their struggles. But what gives Anthony the right to share his advice or opinions on this matter? Well, he has firsthand experience. He has been through a divorce himself.
Over the past three years, Anthony has spent a great deal of time trying to understand the ever-changing dating scene. Things were so different when he met his ex-wife in 2004. Social media had yet to explode, and texting was just starting to become popular. If he wanted to speak to his partner, he had to call her. And if he wanted to see her, he had to go to her house and knock on her door. Everything required effort and action. But today, things have changed drastically.
Our Disconnected World
Looking back over a decade ago, Anthony wonders how different things were for older generations. He contemplates how these differences might affect his own children in the future. The truth is, our generation is ill-equipped to handle marriages. Here are some reasons why:
1) Lack of Intimacy
Anthony believes that sex is a vital aspect of any relationship. It’s not only pleasurable but also a way to connect with your partner on a deeper level. However, he’s baffled by couples who neglect this physical connection, especially younger ones. He questions the logic of cutting off this important aspect of marriage and still expecting it to be successful. It’s like going to a restaurant but not being allowed to order any food. How can you satisfy your hunger?
2) Financial Struggles
The cost of living has skyrocketed compared to previous generations. The burden of student loans, mortgages, utilities, and other living expenses is overwhelming for many young couples. It’s challenging to find a well-paying job in your mid-20s to support this lifestyle comfortably. This financial strain puts a significant strain on marriages and prevents couples from enjoying their youth. It’s difficult to create a strong foundation for a relationship when you’re constantly worried about paying bills.
3) Disconnection in the Digital Age
In today’s world, we are more connected than ever before, yet completely disconnected at the same time. Our relationships have become intertwined with technology and social media. We communicate through text messages and apps, even when we’re in the same room. We argue about misinterpreted texts instead of having real conversations. We’ve forgotten how to communicate and expect healthy marriages. Our obsession with technology has replaced human emotion, and we’ve become distracted by everything around us.
4) Seeking Attention Over Love
Social media has given everyone the opportunity to seek attention and validation. We are constantly bombarded with images of people living seemingly perfect lives. Many people feel the pressure to keep up and portray themselves as successful, even if they are struggling financially. This desire for attention and validation shifts the focus away from love and genuine connection. It becomes challenging to love someone when you’re constantly worried about what others think of you.
5) The Loss of Privacy
Privacy seems to be a thing of the past. Our lives are splattered all over the internet for the world to see. We document every moment, trying to capture the perfect status update or photograph. We invite strangers into our lives, sharing everything from our home decor to our bathing suits. We’ve become so consumed with sharing our lives online that we forget to live in the moment and enjoy the company of our loved ones.
The Way Forward
Anthony acknowledges that marriage is sacred and holds tremendous promise for those fortunate enough to experience it. He still believes in true love and building a beautiful life with someone. However, he fears that the roadblocks created by our modern world make it increasingly difficult to achieve a happy and fulfilling marriage. But it’s not all doom and gloom. There are things within our control that we can do to improve our chances of success.
The bottom line is that we need to prioritize love and genuine connection over seeking attention and validation. We need to learn how to communicate effectively and be present with our partners. And most importantly, we need to create a balance between our online and offline lives. By focusing on these fundamental aspects of relationships, we can work towards creating stronger and more fulfilling marriages in our generation.
So, what do you think? Do you agree or disagree with Anthony’s insights? Feel free to share your thoughts and continue the conversation. After all, communication is key.
