Never Trust Someone Who Is Friends With Your Enemy

Dragon - Bohdi Sanders

Imagine this: you find out that your supposed friend is buddies with your worst enemy. It’s a difficult concept to wrap your head around, but it’s true nonetheless. Some people lack the courage to choose between right and wrong and instead try to walk a line between the two, hoping to benefit from both sides. However, as the Bible teaches us, light has no fellowship with darkness.

True friendship is absolute; it’s black and white. Either you are a true friend, with all the loyalty and support that entails, or you are not. Anything less is nothing more than a casual acquaintance. Acquaintances are pleasant and nice, but they won’t go out of their way for you. They won’t risk anything when you’re in a tough spot. They may be friendly, but they lack loyalty.

Believing that such a person is your friend is as naive as thinking that a flirty bartender is interested in you for your amazing personality rather than the tips she earns. It’s like believing that a politician genuinely cares about you and isn’t just being nice because they want your vote. You have to be pretty blind to live your life that way. These people treat your enemies just as well as they treat you, and their loyalty to your enemy may even exceed their loyalty to you.

The bottom line is this: those who refuse to back you up when you’re facing an enemy, all in the name of maintaining their friendship with both parties, are NOT your friends. They have no loyalty to you; they are simply playing both sides, just like a sleazy politician. Don’t trust them!

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You can’t have it both ways; you have to choose. The same goes for friendship. If your friend has a real enemy, you can’t be a good friend to both him and his enemy. Life doesn’t work that way. You must make a choice.

And remember, not choosing is still a choice. If you choose to be everyone’s “friend,” you are choosing not to support your friend and instead playing neutral. A wise person should never trust a “friend” who maintains a friendship with their worst enemy. That person is not your friend; they are simply maneuvering to see which side offers the best opportunity for them.

Some may say that expecting friends to take such a stand is too intense. Others may argue that these friends are simply afraid of your enemy’s underhanded ways and secretly support you. But who has time for cowards or those without a backbone? Those kinds of people can keep their so-called friendships. They are worth less than your relationships with professionals like your mechanic or your plumber. Heck, they are even worth less than your relationship with your dog. At least your dog understands loyalty! What fellowship does light have with darkness? What relationship should a warrior have with cowards?

I once had a so-called “friend” who continued to maintain a close friendship with someone actively trying to destroy my reputation. When I confronted him about it, he badmouthed the other guy and agreed that he was a piece of garbage. Yet, he stood by his friendship and even taught and gifted him. When I mentioned this, he said, “I don’t want to be involved. I am your friend, but nothing more.” If that’s what he considers friendship, I’m better off without friends like him. I haven’t spoken to him since, and I probably never will.

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This guy is a perfect example of what I’m talking about. He constantly asked for my help with his marketing and writing. When I invited him to contribute a chapter to my book series, he was excited but then asked if I could write it for him. I did it because I believe in true friendship. However, as soon as I came under attack from one of his so-called friends (who bought his friendship with bogus martial arts awards), he refused to take a stand.

These so-called “friends” are only in it for themselves. They befriend people as long as there’s something in it for them. They enjoy the ride until it gets bumpy, and their true colors start to show. In the end, their loyalty lies with no one but themselves.

When someone is friends with your enemy, never trust them, no matter how friendly they may act or what excuses they give. The same goes for those who claim to be friends with both you and your enemy. You can’t ride in two different boats at the same time! You might manage to keep a leg in each boat for a short while, but when the boats begin to drift apart, you must make a decision. Otherwise, you’ll find yourself drowning.

Many don’t seem to understand this. They claim they can be friends with both you and your enemies. But that’s just wrong thinking. If someone’s so-called friend were to attack their spouse, would they still maintain their neutrality? Of course not! Why? Because they have a special bond, a deep friendship with their spouse. Nobody messes with their partner! True friendship works the same way.

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If someone isn’t ready to stand up for their friend, then they aren’t true friends. The person who claims to be friends with everyone is in reality nobody’s true friend. They have loads of acquaintances and are ready to cross them out of their address book whenever it suits them. That’s not true friendship!

Whether you like it or not, the friend of your enemy IS your enemy. They may not be as openly hostile as your enemy, and they may hide their true feelings. But when push comes to shove, that person is not your friend and never was. Their loyalty lies with your enemy and with themselves. You don’t matter unless they have something to gain from you.

Let’s also clarify a misguided old saying: “The enemy of my enemy is my friend.” Nothing could be further from the truth! The enemy of your enemy may be useful; you may share a common foe. But the reality is that they couldn’t care less about you, other than the fact that you both have a common enemy. They are no more your friend than your enemy. They are merely acquaintances with the common goal of defending themselves against a mutual enemy. That’s all. Just because people repeat old clich├ęs doesn’t make them true.

The friend of your enemy is absolutely your enemy, even if you haven’t realized it yet. Keep an eye on them, for if they are true friends, they will stand with their friend against you, even if it’s behind the scenes. And even if they aren’t true friends, if they see something to gain by bringing you down, they’ll turn on you. Either way, never trust them.

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There are many witty quotes out there from famous people stating things like, “If I make my enemy my friend, then I have defeated my enemy.” While it sounds great, it’s about as realistic as unicorns and fairies. Making your enemy your friend is impossible! Only a fool would believe that someone who hates you and wants to destroy you could ever truly be your friend. The best you can hope for is a cease-fire and pleasant interactions if your paths happen to cross again. Hoping that your enemy will become your true friend is like rubbing an old oil lamp and waiting for a genie to grant you three wishes. It’s child’s play.

A warrior must have insight into who is and isn’t truly their friend. Many great warriors have been brought down because they trusted the wrong people. Remember, even Jesus was betrayed by one of his closest “brothers.” So, be cautious when it comes to friendship. Warrior up!

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